


Under the Holy Cross

by House_of_the_Rising_Pluto



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe - Historical, Blood, Christmas, Churches & Cathedrals, F/M, Gen, Incest, M/M, One Shot, Original Character(s), Orphanage, Orphans, Religion, Self-Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Serious, Sex, Sibling Incest, Smut, Suicide, Threesome - F/M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/House_of_the_Rising_Pluto/pseuds/House_of_the_Rising_Pluto
Summary: The church was accepting, giving and providingThe men she loved. But church forbade.The God was forgiving.Read the tags!
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Na Jaesun/Na Jaemin/Lee Jeno
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not, by any means encourage suicide and incest. 
> 
> This is just a story, an alternate version of real life.

"Amen," said the priest.  
  
"Amen!"  
  
  
"Dear children, tonight we are celebrating the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ..."  
  
Jaesun knew the rest by heart. Listening the same preach for years, ever since she came to the church orphanage as a child, with her twin, Jaemin.  
  
They were "the after war babies," as the people of South Korea would call them. The war whipped out half of the adults on the both sides of the border.  
  
Thankfully, church welcomed their offspring with open hearts, warm meals and a roof to sleep under.  
  
The life was hard for her and her friends. Her brother and his boys already studied the holy books, preparing to serve God's will to mortals, while she and the other girls learned to take care of new kids, make meals and sing holy music, preparing for a lifelong celibate, once in God's service.  
  
  
"God is almighty!"  
  
"God is almighty," the chorus of voices repeated. It was time for the last song for this morning. Night come, they will have to sing throughout it.  
  
  
The snow was falling over the holy grounds, December 24th, year 1968. In 7 days, they will be served their first adult seaweed soup and case to be kids.  
  
The church was accepting.  
  
It allowed them the stay; but for what price.  
  
"Sister, why are your thoughts falling with the snow," asked Jeno, intertwining their fingers.  
  
On her other side, her brother did the same. "Today is joyful; no one should be captive of their darkness on a bright day as it is."  
  
Rising her head to the skies, bright it was, indeed. A few snowflakes touched her rose cheeks, melting and falling as unshed tears.  
  
  
She couldn't love as she wanted.  
  
  
"Look how red you are, we have to take you inside."  
  
  
Church grounds were small and church people poor. Only a house beside the holy building, where the priests, nuns and the orphans slept.  
  
Every label had a floor.  
  
Priests on the first: the fewest - they had the most space; 2nd floor - the nuns: a little bigger in number; and just below the attic, on the 3rd floor were the orphans, 13 of them, boys and girls, sleeping together, keeping warm in the cold winter.  
  
  
In their big room, little for their number, the Huang brothers were already preparing for sleep, knowing how tiring the night will be; the Kim siblings, taking off their complicated clothing; Kang Seulgi pacifying her baby brother and singing him to sleep; Nakamoto Yuta saying a prayer in front of Virgin Mary, a child of Japanese officials, murdered at the end of the war; but church was accepting; Lee Jeno, whose brother Mark died from pneumonia last winter, in his suit and glasses, the handsomest man alive, next to her brother, Na Jaemin.  
  
The two men she loved, but church forbade.  
  
  
The God was forgiving.  
  
  
  
Ready for day sleep, between her two men, "Nana, do you love me," Jaesun asked.  
  
"Of course I do. You're the only light in my life, I wish you nothing less than perfection, but life is cruel," he kissed her temple, "so sleep, dear sister, for the night come, we have to sing and promise to the folk something they can't receive."  
  
"Yes, brother. Thank you," her lips landed on his cheek, closest to the lips that she allowed herself, just barely touching, but enough to feel the tender skin.  
  
Jeno kissed her nape, "don't worry, sister, God has us in his hands, he put us together to be there for each other in times of torment. We have you protected."  
  
"Thank you," and Jaesun dozed off in the warmth, dreaming of lips and touches that were frowned upon, that were disgusting, that she wanted so badly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Father, give us your blessing," sang the choir of boys and girls, dressed in their prettiest clothes: boys in suits, girls in dresses. Jaesun sang in the highest voice, and with the choir standing in a half a circle, she was just opposite of Jaemin and Jeno, who sang low.  
  
Both standing tall in their suits, looking like temptation, her forbidden fruit.  
  
"Sons and daughters, I greet you on the joyful day of Christ's birth. Humans are sinful by their nature, but the Holy Mother conceived without sin, giving birth to a healer of unhealable, voice to the voiceless, to the child of God who died on the cross along with the biggest sinners of the time.  
  
"In the name of the Father, he forgave and blessed the sinners in the hour prior to their death, granting them access to the holy gardens of Heaven. The sinners knew of their sin, but they haven't had time to make up for it. Christ gave them that time. He gave them the time of eternity. Today, we celebrate in glory the doings of Son of God.  
  
"Embrace and confess your sins with faith in salvation!  
  
"Amen!"  
  
"Amen!"  
  
  
Jaesun felt the words echo through her mind, but she hadn't sinned. She hadn't felt like a sinner.  
  
Opposite to her, Jaemin and Jeno locked their fingers before the last song for the morning.  
  
  
The feast was served for the fasting children of God who sang and served His word.  
  
  
Even though sleepy, the orphans shouldn't sleep now, for not to mess their schedule of early rising.  
  
In the room, Seulgi sat Jaesun, braiding her hair while she cradled the small Daniel.  
  
Their mother became a widow in war, often coming to confess her sins to father Yunho, while pregnant. She knew that her death was near, so when the time of childbirth came, she gave birth to a healthy boy, but fell to the exhaustment and left them with the church.  
  
  
"Jaesunie, have you ever liked someone? It's alright to confess, we haven't got so much time until we both will have to serve God. It's just natural."  
  
Seulgi still braided her left side, while Daniel played with long locks on the right.  
  
"I do."  
  
"Who? Father Yunho? Brother Yoonoh?"  
  
"Oh, so you like brother Yoonoh?" It was safest to turn the question at her.  
  
Seulgi blushed, "n-no, silly you."  
  
So, she did. Hm, interesting.  
  
"Ahm, but who do you like?"  
  
"I can't tell you."  
  
"The only boys you spend all the time with are brothers Jeno and Jaemin, but you treat them the same... will you ever tell me?"  
  
"If the God's will allow sister, you will know."  
  
Doyeon entered the room, carrying freshly washed bed sheets that will dry faster in the warm room.  
  
Jaesun asked her: "sister, what do you think of Huang Lucas?"  
  
Doyeon blushed and turned to spread the white sheets.  
  
"Well, he's an honest man of God, respectful and kind, obviously I think good of him as of any other of you."  
  
"Nonsense! Be honest with us," exclaimed Seulgi, finishing the right braid too.  
  
  
When the time went by in laughter and joy, you could forget the greatness of the next moment where cruelty of life would crush your happiness.

As the girls readied the dinner, brothers came from their work.

The only two missing men were father Yunho and newly appointed deacon Yuta, probably still working inside the church.

When they finally showed up, Renjun beamed in happiness at his tired brother in God and took Yuta’s hand to lead him to his seat.

At the right side of father Yunho sat his brother Yoonoh, and by his side Seulgi with her little brother in the lap. To her right sat the Kims and beside them Huangs with Yuta, and Jeno and Nas on his right. To the left of father Yunho sat other church people.

He stood up to bless the dinner: “Brothers, sisters, a few of you will soon come to God’s service. May your spirits be clean of every sinful thought, your bodies well rested and fed. Remember to keep yourselves far from temptation. May our and the dinner of every Christian be blessed and rich, for many years to come, amen.”

“Amen.”

“Sister, I’m restless, will you take a walk with me,” asked Jaemin after the dinner.

“Yes, of course,” and she took his hand.

The snow was falling onto the cold ground. Puffs of air leaving their mouth with every breath. The sky was moonless, starless and only dark snowing clouds were visible.

Should Jaesun have the courage to confess to her brother?

She had only a few days to confess or be silent eternally.

The Han River was frozen too, having a thin layer that could be broken with just one step.

“Brother, I have to confess. I’m in l-”

“I know. I see the look in your eyes when they land on me, as on brother Jeno too. We talked. We see you as a woman too.” He stopped walking and turned to face her.

“Jaesun, God forbade, but the forbidden fruit was still consumed by Adam and Eve.”

After these words, he leaned and kissed her as the night grew darker and colder and snow heavier, hidden from the world in the darkness of the night, illuminated only by a street light, standing tall, far away from them.

Every bed held sleeping bodies, just one pair of eyes landed on their intertwined hands.

“I waited,” said Jeno.

The siblings took off their clothes and dressed in their night attire, lying beside Jeno.

In the darkness of the room, Jaemin placed a kiss to his lips, “we talked.”

“I see.” He turned to Jaesun who was to his left. ”I love you,” and he kissed her too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
> 
> YOUR LIFE MATTERS, DON'T HARM YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES!
> 
> DEATH IS ROMANTIC ONLY IN ART!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> church incest threesome sex and suicide upon the chapter

The mirage of last night was drowned in scrubbing the dirt off of the church floors.

Five more days of freedom in love.

The church earned little by copying the holy books, but it was enough to feed them rice, and people were good, leaving donations in food and money. Some of them even drew holy faces, and that earned them a little more, but still little.

Kunhang and Renjun were working on a mosaic that was ordered by a rich man whose grand father’s life was saved by a French priest. It was on the day of St George so the family glorified him since. The Kims were copying The Holy Bible by hand. Typewriters were expensive for poor founds.

Jaesun was on her knees in front of the Crucifixion, asking for forgiveness for what she will do.

The three of them went for a walk every night, kissing in the dark, touching under the moonless sky, hidden from the judging eyes. When they returned to the room, they made out silently under the Holy Cross over their bed, touching under the thin clothes and sharing warmth in the cold house that grew smaller for their love by the day.

The New Year’s Eve was nothing worth celebration for Christian folk, just an old tradition of gaining another year of life, and, in their case, coming to God’s service, which meant throwing away their bodily needs in sake of gaining Kingdom of Heaven. 

The others went to bed early as always, but Jeno, Jaemin and Jaesun stayed until they fell asleep, sneaking out of the house to be free for the last time.

Jaemin obtained keys to the church, to gain them some privacy for what they were about to do.

Humans were sinful. Every one of us was born from the sin of making love. The most intimate act, that should be done out of love.

Under the Holy Cross they laid a blanket, exchanging kisses that grew hurried and needier by second, touches that needed response in moans. The clothing flew with their freedom. The watch on Jeno’s wrist already read past midnight.

Jaesun laid on her back over Jaemin’s front, having him keep her warm and safe with his strong arms, and having Jeno between her legs, opening her slowly so both of them could fit.

The feeling of both their manhoods filling her was as perfect as it hurt and made her bleed, but moan in pleasure. They both holding her and having her protected from the world, kissing every part of her skin that they could reach, kissing each other.

She wanted this to last for all of her life, but church forbade.

The rubbing of their skin and sights of their flesh melting into one made her come. Their low voices whispering praises into her ears with hurried tone, their moans, their seed inside her and their love surrounding her; if she never saw Heaven, she was sure that it felt like this.

They kissed and let the night melt into the early dawn. 

Around four, they returned to their bed, kissing to help them fall to sleep that won’t come for their hearts were in euphoria.

Slowly, their kisses grew sloppier, slower and their breaths evened out, until Jaemin and Jeno’s soul took a leap inside the dream.

Jaesun couldn’t.

When she rose from their embrace, slowly as not to wake them, she was greeted with the warmest smiles she ever saw on the faces of her beloved men.

They must continue the dream.

In the kitchen she found a knife and walked out of the house.

Still riding a wave of lust and high on received love, her last moments felt like she was in a dream too.

She knelt in the snow, cutting her wrists. The crimson drops of blood stained the white snow that was still falling. She joined her palms in a prayer to Christ above her to forgive for her sins in love, and for sin of taking a life too.

By the time she finished her prayer the dawn had long started to lighten the sky.

In the red rising sun, she saw The Virgin who told her that a life bloomed inside her.

Too late to turn back time now.

Jaesun’s vision grew dizzy, but in her last sight, she saw Jaemin and Jeno kneeling over her, calling her back to life that was slowly slipping out through her veins.

”Why sister, why,” asked Jaemin trough tears while Jeno kissed her wrists in hope to heal them.

“I love you, forgive me.”

And her body fell lifeless under the Holy Cross.

The help couldn’t come in time due to the heavy snow that covered the grounds.

Jaesun’s funeral was held on the church grounds.

The burial was silent, filled with muted sobs and drowning in tears that fell and turned to ice over the snow.

Jaemin and Jeno stood in front of her coffin that was slowly being lowered to the ground, like it was hard for the rope too to say goodbye to a young life.

No one said anything about their hands that turned white from holding too strong. No one commented Jaemin’s face falling to Jeno’s neck and Jeno’s soft kisses to his cheek.

The body of their beloved laid under the Holy Cross on which her name and lifetime were written by the Huang brothers.

When their time comes, Jaemin and Jeno requested their bodies to be laid under the same Holy Cross, so they could be together in the Kingdom of God.

God was forgiving.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, give me some feedback <3
> 
> Stay safe!!


End file.
